S: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
W: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
S: I don't care.
W: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
S: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
W: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
S: Well, then - it's the wrong word.
W: No. I think it's perfect.

Wow my journal really needed an update, don't you think?
I've been spending less time on DA and neo in the past few weeks, have you noticed?
I hope to be a little more active soon. I need to draw more!

Anyway, here's a quiz I stole from Cricket/Winzer/Michelle/Liz

Why did you join this site?
I joined in August 2004 with my first account!

What does your username have to do with you? Is it a combination of your favorite things, or a character of yours?
My username actually comes from the book "Silverbrumby Whirlwind" I just liked the sound of it, and I act like a whirlwind every once in a while, so it fits, right? After that I created my fursona, also called Whirlwind, or Whirl.

What is your current icon of?
It's a shared icon with =CricketWings and mine is of my fursona, Whirl.

How many watchers do you have and how many people are you currently watching?
She watches 154 people, while 838 people watch her.
Yeah I don't watch that many people I'm very happy with all of my watchers though!

Do you have more than one account?
Yeah, I have but it's kinda hard to be active on two accounts. My old account is still around as well, but I never log in.

Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA.
My favorite artist on DA is:

I love pretty much everything she does, especially her newest drawings. I think we are very much alike.

I don't really have one favorite photographer but if I would have to pick it would be:


My favorite writer on DA is:


Which deviants do you admire because of their personality?
because she's amazing, otherwordly and open minded.
& because they are super sweet

How many people on here do you actually know in reality? Post their avatars.


Do you comment, fave, or both?
I comment much more then I fave because favourites are something special to me, I only fave something if it really catches/inspires me.

What do you typically post on deviantart?
Horse art XD

Do you participate in clubs or contests here on DA?
Not really. I try to do contest but sometimes I just forget. I'm not really a big fan of contests to be honest.

What is your most popular deviation?
My basic tutorial with 300 favorites. But since that one doesn't really count it would be:

With 272 favorites. I still like it even though there's one huge mistake that really bothers me when I look at this. I also grew to dislike Adelais eye. But I spend a lot of time on this picture and the background took me ages.

What's your favorite submission in your gallery?

My favorites change ALL THE TIME. But right now it's this one. Because I made it with love

What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Pretty much anything besides horses? Humans most of all.

Are you a subscriber?
Yeah I am, thanks to

How many hours a day do you spend on DA?
The last two week it's been less than an hour. But usually around 1/2 hours.

Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Fast, but in the end I'm still slow because I have to go back and correct all the typo's XD

What is your favorite emoticon?


What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
Can I use your pictures on this or that site.
The answer is: NO.

What is the most annoying comment you get?
I appreciate all comments.

What inspires you?
Feelings, music, other art.

Do you use any traditional media?
I do but not on this account. I have a little notebook that I fill with traditional images, I use paints, markers, colored pencil, charcoal, pastels, pretty much anything.

Have you ever suggested a Daily Deviation?
Yes, a few times.

Everyone has considered leaving DA once or twice. Have you? Why?
No, not really. I was forced to leave DA twice but that wasn't my own choice!

I'm back from California! I had a lot of messages so I had to delete most journals and drawings, I commented on a few but I can't reply to everything, sorry. I hope you understand.

I just saw The Bucket List and it made me remember that I have a list like that as well, somewhere. (A list with things you want to do before you die). Now I can cross out one of the things: Meet my online friends! It was absolutely wonderful to meet everyone.


I think it's amazing how we bonded, it was so natural!

I must admit that I was afraid and nervous beyond words. Me, easily intimidated and shy girl; flying to the other side of the world, going on a plane for the first time in her life, all alone and meeting a bunch of people she has never seen before! But everything turned out okay, I almost missed a flight and I had to switch planes because the motor didn't work but I made it! Oh and I got singled out everytime, I think because I was travelling alone. I got questioned a few times and when I landed they searched through my stuff. Oh well.

The first week was hard, I'm not going to lie. Ashley and her mom were wonderful, but I had trouble adjusting to the time change. (Holland is 8 hours ahead of California) I would wake up 3 or 5 in the morning. I missed my family and my house. And I was shy lol. But it was wonderful to see Walnut Creek and San Francisco!

And it was hard to switch languages so suddenly. I thought it was easier because I write english everyday, but I found it harder to speak. I got more used to it at the end of our trip though. I could understand everything fine as long as I paid attention but talking yourself is different, I had to think everytime before I spoke and sometimes I just messed up because I got nervous. I also had a lot of trouble pronouncing words like: bathroom and thirteen so I usually tried to avoid these words

Then we flew to LA, met Jess and went to Disney what I absolutely loved. I can't believe that such a big Disney lover like me has never been to Disneyland before XD Anyway, we somehow got into some kind of fight/drama with Jess. And we end up taking over Chelsea's place

I absolutely LOVED our last week in LA. Like I said, Melisa, Ashley, Chelsea and I got along perfect and I was never one moment bored, they are amazing and I'm fortunate to get to know these awesome girls. And Chelsea has the nicest parents ever, so it was a joy to be able to stay at her place.

The things I loved most (but really, I loved everything):
-Meeting Ashley (and Savvy!)
-Shopping in Walnut Creek
-Eating pizza in Berkeley where they played live music
-Holding a ball python
-Seeing the Golden Gate Bridge
-Seeing all San Francisco from the Coit tower
-Seeing LA from the plane and realizing how HUGE it is
-The Hollywood Walk of Fame
-Going to Disneyland and seeing their fireworks
-Meeting Melisa
-Meeting Chelsea (and Destin!)
-Baking cookies for breakfast
-Petting kittens and getting two dogs adopted
-Chelsea's party and our costumes
-Painting t-shirts
-Shopping at the Grove and having dinner with the four of us
-Seeing the Hollywood sign
-Going horseback riding with Chelsea and Melisa
-Going to the beach at night
-THE DONUT SHOP!

So yeah, I definately want to go back someday, if they'll have me.
And they must visit Holland, for sure. And taste our fine milk and cheese

Whirl

ps. photo's on my facebook!

_{Fabulous icons by ~scouting-for-stars for Cricket & me when we're together
It's Leila & Cozmiah}


I'm flying to California this monday, so I just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be away until the 11th of August.

See you then!


Whirl

I just feel like I need to share this because I’ve been thinking and thinking about him lately. It’s so strange because I really feel sad about him not being here anymore. It’s just that, to me he really was a king of a music and he really did stand alone at the top. And I’m not even a fan. His death doesn’t change anything to my personal life, there is no difference but I still feel that sense of loss.

I sympathize with him and in some ways I really understand him. Of course he’s loved so so much, he’s truly one of the most famous people ever. And at the same time he’s hated by so many. And I don’t think it’s fair, how can you possibly hate someone you don’t even know? It’s just ignorant people who read magazines and tabloids and believe everything they read. They don’t understand that more than half of the stuff in magazines is made up or exaggerated. It’s sad really. It’s also heartbreaking to hear Michael pleading to not read them, to not believe stories or people until you’ve heard both sides of the story, and he’s right. He was a revolutionary singer/songwriter/dancer but his personal life almost got more attention then his artistic abilities.

I do honestly believe Michael was innocent, there’s no way he molested a child, I do not believe that. He was just a child at heart. He was a lonely child that grew up as a lonely man. A lonely man that never had a childhood. I do not disagree that he became a little obsessed with children, he refused to grow up. He said: “I am Peter Pan”. But he wasn’t obsessed with children for the wrong reasons, he loved them for their sense of wonder and imagination, for their love and pure honesty. They did not judge him, children love without limits. That’s what he loved. He did not understand that you don’t necessarily have to lose these things by growing up. You can be an adult and still love and play.

I was surprised to learn he’s very shy and sensitive but also honest. You can just hear and see he’s truthful about something. I believe the things he said about himself except for the plastic surgery thing. I do not believe he was honest about that and you can see it in his eyes, he also gets really defensive about this every time. I think he did have plastic surgery more than twice.

The truth is, he was just a lonely guy with a sad history and I think the media just made it worse by targeting him and making up these weird stories about him. And he’s just so sweet and shy and he does not even defend himself. But he’s such a good person, he gave SO much to charity and he really did try to ‘heal the word’. I found his honesty and love very touching. There’s this part at the end of the documentary ‘Living with Michael Jackson’ where Martin Bashir and he are talking about the sleepovers and he says he’s just trying to help kids form a broken family and how they need attention and care. He says: ‘We need to bond again, that’s very important Martin’. Just the way he says the last sentence really touched me, he was trying to explain himself to Martin Bashir, who did not seem to understand. It’s like he explains later: “I’m just very sensitive to their pain. It means a lot to me and I want to help”.

Watch it for yourself if you want, I can't link it here but search Living with Michael Jackson (part 9/10) and you'll find it.
It’s around 5:20. I found it painful to watch because Martin was opinionated and just trying to damage him more. It’s sad when people can’t just be honest and loving anymore, they must always be destroyed. And the way they destroyed Michael is just heartbreaking. “I have a heart and I have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me. It's not nice.” & “ People think they know me, but they don't. Not really. Actually, I am one of the loneliest people on this earth. I cry sometimes, because it hurts. It does. To be honest, I guess you could say that it hurts to be me.”

Poor poor Michael, he never really had a life. It’s like he said on Oprah: When you are famous you give up yourself a lot.



Whirl